#41 of 365 – “descent”



I saw a scene

in a movie

that caught me

off guard


brought up feelings

I, long ago


to discard




about a violent



that hastened

my already




it changed

how I saw things


how I thought


to this day

I question

if I should have



if I could,

I wouldn’t kill them

but I would

make them suffer


make them feel

the brutality

that was that day,



they left me dirty,

and I stood under

the water

for an hour


but couldn’t

get clean

no matter how hard

I scoured


then I sat,

for years

in a tiny room

of self-hate


for letting myself


one of the victims

of rape


About Blackbird

Poet, sculptor, jewelry maker, writer, spouse, parent, crazy person - not necessarily in that order.
This entry was posted in Poetry, Rape, Violence and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to #41 of 365 – “descent”

  1. SASSY D says:

    It must be really hard to confront those terrible moments again.Your willingness to be so open will support others to speak the unspeakable

  2. pi314chron says:

    Merle, Thank you from my broken heart for directing me here that I might understand. I’m sorry for asking questions, in my ignorance, that no doubt caused you pain again. Please forgive me.

    Warmest Respect and Admiration,


    • Blackbird says:

      Ron, no need at all for an apology. If it were too painful to share I wouldn’t have put it on my blog. Please don’t ever feel like you can’t ask questions…truthfully, it gives me an excuse to direct you to another of my poems you may not have read…and that, regardless of the subject matter, brings me great joy. I appreciate your compassion…but there is nothing to forgive. Never stop asking questions

      With much warmth, appreciation and friendship,

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