#41 of 365 – “descent”

“descent”

 

I saw a scene

in a movie

that caught me

off guard

 

brought up feelings

I, long ago

tried

to discard

 

violent

feelings

about a violent

event

 

that hastened

my already

rapid

descent

 

it changed

how I saw things

changed

how I thought

 

to this day

I question

if I should have

fought

 

if I could,

I wouldn’t kill them

but I would

make them suffer

 

make them feel

the brutality

that was that day,

uncovered

 

they left me dirty,

and I stood under

the water

for an hour

 

but couldn’t

get clean

no matter how hard

I scoured

 

then I sat,

for years

in a tiny room

of self-hate

 

for letting myself

become

one of the victims

of rape

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About Blackbird

Poet, sculptor, writer, spouse, parent, crazy person - not necessarily in that order.
This entry was posted in Poetry, Rape, Violence and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to #41 of 365 – “descent”

  1. SASSY D says:

    It must be really hard to confront those terrible moments again.Your willingness to be so open will support others to speak the unspeakable

  2. pi314chron says:

    Merle, Thank you from my broken heart for directing me here that I might understand. I’m sorry for asking questions, in my ignorance, that no doubt caused you pain again. Please forgive me.

    Warmest Respect and Admiration,

    Ron

    • Blackbird says:

      Ron, no need at all for an apology. If it were too painful to share I wouldn’t have put it on my blog. Please don’t ever feel like you can’t ask questions…truthfully, it gives me an excuse to direct you to another of my poems you may not have read…and that, regardless of the subject matter, brings me great joy. I appreciate your compassion…but there is nothing to forgive. Never stop asking questions

      With much warmth, appreciation and friendship,
      Merle/Blackbird

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