#69 of 365 – “golden thread”

“golden thread”

 

I have a crippled appendage

that added years to how I drank

 

and shoveled my esteem

behind a cold and muddy bank

 

I have no value, save the dollars

I can make and save and spend

 

a bleeding hollow in my spirit

that I alone can’t seem to mend

 

she is buying Christmas presents

for the children online

 

while I sit by her side,

broke and smiling and benign

 

I feel sick,

green and swampy inside

 

resentful of the shame

I am so desperate to hide

 

I am low on gratitude

and have precious few moments of grace

 

when I feel my time beneath the stars

has been worthy of embrace

 

but I am trying to see my assets

and hold them up for trade

 

not for coins, but for the golden thread

of silent accolade

 

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About Blackbird

Poet, sculptor, writer, spouse, parent, crazy person - not necessarily in that order.
This entry was posted in Addiction, esteem, Money, Poetry, Self-Worth and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to #69 of 365 – “golden thread”

  1. SassyD says:

    #69–“golden thread”
    I have been where you are at Christmas time–no money to give to those I love.
    It is absolutely excruciating. In our culture, so much emphasis on buying. One friend suggested to me– give all you have–your love— in the form of a creative gift–a poem, write a letter, let each person know what they mean –acknowledge them. That worked. People were surprised and moved. I felt really fulfilled.

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