Category Archives: Addict Behavior

#459 – “secrets to save”

“secrets to save”   I want this pain to stop this panic to allay this sinking  to end this crushing guilt to go away I want to drink until I’m perfect until I’m healthy and brave drink until I’m honest … Continue reading

Posted in Addict Behavior, Addiction, alcoholism, Anguish, Courage, Cowardice, Depression, Despair, Dishonesty, Fear, Guilt, Honesty, Marriage, Pain, Poetry, Reality, Self Esteem, Self-Destructive, Self-Forgiveness, Self-Hatred, Sobriety | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

#458 – 4 haiku

4 haiku     it tears so slowly excruciating, deep; the dull knife of silence       hard awakening my own well being crushed by another’s dis-ease       the air; thick, tangled words knotted up, emotions choking … Continue reading

Posted in Addict Behavior, alcoholism, Change, Changes, Co-dependence, esteem, Growth, Guilt, Haiku, Healing, Hope, Life, Marriage, Pain, Poetry, Prayer, Praying, Self Esteem, Self-Forgiveness, Self-Worth, Sobriety | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

#457 – “sticks and mud”

“sticks and mud”   what work is this to toil the mind dig through emotions and memories intertwined looking for something I can’t seem to find   what kind of labor searching through thought wading through battles and wars I’ve … Continue reading

Posted in Addict Behavior, Anguish, Anxiety, Depression, Poetry, Worthlessness, Writing | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

#456 – “ragged weeds”

“ragged weeds”   I am not good I fall short of both truth and light, but rather walk with heavy clouds beneath a dark rain instead   hiding in the shadows of quiet omission where muted spaces grow ragged weeds … Continue reading

Posted in Addict Behavior, Anxiety, Cowardice, Depression, disappointment, Failure, Marriage, Poetry, Worthlessness | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

#445 – “bare”

“bare”   I don’t function well in marriage the wrong words come out or none come at all I go silent absent in the face of distress and I’m hopeless unhandy with what the day brings useless with no passion … Continue reading

Posted in Addict Behavior, Anxiety, Cowardice, love, Marriage, Poetry, Self-Hatred, Self-Worth, Trust | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

#409 – 5 Haiku about my brother

5 Haiku about my brother   so much time folded into a tiny corner alcoholism     he is angry that love has brought his family and friends together     he cannot see or feel his way through a darkness his … Continue reading

Posted in Addict Behavior, Addiction, alcoholism, Brother, Despair, Family, Haiku, Hitting Bottom, Life, love | Tagged , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

#403 – unsung

unsung   I am not a good soul I tire of others my friendships breathe shallow beneath envy that smothers I feed on dark rain though I pray for the sun as I walk my night streets deep into the … Continue reading

Posted in Addict Behavior, Anger, Darkness, Depression, Despair, esteem, Fear, Poetry, Prayer, Recovery, Sun | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

#388 – 5 Haiku

5 Haiku   bleach, softeners; she puts her quarters in―alone in the laundromat     so old this burrow refuge from too much shade and too little sunshine     I try to reach quick and for a moment I hold … Continue reading

Posted in Addict Behavior, Creativity, Darkness, Depression, Haiku, Life, Poetry | Tagged , , , , , , | 5 Comments

#387 – “troubled end”

“troubled end”   I’m not sure what I’m missing or if God is at fault like he’d put me in to simmer but added no salt I feel flavorless bland like a scrap of dead air set aside like a … Continue reading

Posted in Addict Behavior, Addiction, Angels, Anxiety, Belief, Change, Depression, Faith, God, Growing Older, Growth, Healing, Hope, Lessons, Life, Perseverance, Poetry, Prayer, Recovery, Regret, Self-Forgiveness, Wisdom, Worry | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

#381 – 3 Haiku

3 Haiku   standing in the rain umbrella doesn’t work; no shelter from my thoughts     hours like stone, grow so heavy through my night when sleep rolls away from me       so many churches all boarded … Continue reading

Posted in Addict Behavior, Depression, Feeling Lost, Haiku, Insomnia, Poetry, Prayer, Self Esteem, Self-Destructive, Self-Hatred, Self-Love, Self-Worth, Sleep | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment