Category Archives: alcoholism

#459 – “secrets to save”

“secrets to save”   I want this pain to stop this panic to allay this sinking  to end this crushing guilt to go away I want to drink until I’m perfect until I’m healthy and brave drink until I’m honest … Continue reading

Posted in Addict Behavior, Addiction, alcoholism, Anguish, Courage, Cowardice, Depression, Despair, Dishonesty, Fear, Guilt, Honesty, Marriage, Pain, Poetry, Reality, Self Esteem, Self-Destructive, Self-Forgiveness, Self-Hatred, Sobriety | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

#458 – 4 haiku

4 haiku     it tears so slowly excruciating, deep; the dull knife of silence       hard awakening my own well being crushed by another’s dis-ease       the air; thick, tangled words knotted up, emotions choking … Continue reading

Posted in Addict Behavior, alcoholism, Change, Changes, Co-dependence, esteem, Growth, Guilt, Haiku, Healing, Hope, Life, Marriage, Pain, Poetry, Prayer, Praying, Self Esteem, Self-Forgiveness, Self-Worth, Sobriety | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

#450 – “wounded day”

“wounded day”   stuck again inside tremors of sadness and shock   a nightmare hall with no windows or doors to unlock   I walk on a gravel of unwanted change   on a new path that feels otherworldly and … Continue reading

Posted in alcoholism, Brother, Change, Death, Despair, Family, Grieving, Poetry | Tagged , , , , , , | 2 Comments

#440 – “battles”

“battles”   I didn’t get to say a proper private goodbye   I was late and everyone hovered nearby   eager was the nursing staff to take you away   die in the morning out by midday   I felt … Continue reading

Posted in Afterlife, alcoholism, Anger, Broken Heart, Brother, Death, Family, Grieving, Poetry | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

#428 – 3 haiku

December 12, 2017   hair and nails so long he looks disappeared beneath his impending death     December 13, 2017   still warm; he looked much more comfortable than he did the day before     I could not … Continue reading

Posted in alcoholism, Broken Heart, Brother, Death, Dying, Family, Grieving, Haiku, Poetry | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

#422 – 5 haiku

5 Haiku     on his own grave’s edge he waits in sad defiance daring life to end     a window open disinterested, he stares at the floor instead     so many gray hairs his beard looks like … Continue reading

Posted in Addiction, alcoholism, Brother, Denial, Despair, Fear, Haiku, Pain, Poetry, Self-Destructive, Sibling | Tagged , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

#421 – 3 Haiku

3 Haiku   so damaged the space where God’s light can’t lift away his rundown darkness     air, still and sour with so many spilled regrets my brother won’t clean up     who can judge what looks wasted from … Continue reading

Posted in alcoholism, Brother, Denial, Family, Haiku, Poetry | Tagged , , , , | 2 Comments

#418 – “broken luggage”

“broken luggage”   he drags along the road his trip, too long for him to bear pulls his life like broken luggage too old and useless to repair what’s inside he doesn’t know and doesn’t seem to care  

Posted in Addiction, alcoholism, Brother, Drug Addiction, Family, Life, Pain, Poetry, Sibling | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

#409 – 5 Haiku about my brother

5 Haiku about my brother   so much time folded into a tiny corner alcoholism     he is angry that love has brought his family and friends together     he cannot see or feel his way through a darkness his … Continue reading

Posted in Addict Behavior, Addiction, alcoholism, Brother, Despair, Family, Haiku, Hitting Bottom, Life, love | Tagged , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

#380 – “at an end”

“at an end”   he sounds at an end as if his life got packed too tightly, numbed into a corner so small there is no room for belief, and his hopes buried so deeply under a motionless heavy air … Continue reading

Posted in Addiction, alcoholism, Brother, Depression, Despair, Drug Addiction, Family, Life, Poetry, Regret, Sibling | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments