Category Archives: Depression

#463 – “grist”

“grist”   it all seems so meaningless life’s bewildering clatter the unending struggle to somehow matter is this what I’m here for to simply exist beneath these dreams God gave like some painful grist I’ve helped raise His children suffered … Continue reading

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#462 – “the death of dreams”

“the death of dreams”   they say my dreams won’t come true that I should leave them with the night let them dissipate inside the heaviness of morning light where the joy of lofty thinking struggles for breath then curls … Continue reading

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#461 – “waning breath”

“waning breath”   I fail  in what’s been an unending succession of inaction procrastination fear and regret I am nothing without dreams but waning breath each day a little closer to a troubled death    

Posted in Anguish, Courage, Cowardice, Depression, Dreams, Failure, Fear, Regret, Self-Worth | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

#459 – “secrets to save”

“secrets to save”   I want this pain to stop this panic to allay this sinking  to end this crushing guilt to go away I want to drink until I’m perfect until I’m healthy and brave drink until I’m honest … Continue reading

Posted in Addict Behavior, Addiction, alcoholism, Anguish, Courage, Cowardice, Depression, Despair, Dishonesty, Fear, Guilt, Honesty, Marriage, Pain, Poetry, Reality, Self Esteem, Self-Destructive, Self-Forgiveness, Self-Hatred, Sobriety | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

#457 – “sticks and mud”

“sticks and mud”   what work is this to toil the mind dig through emotions and memories intertwined looking for something I can’t seem to find   what kind of labor searching through thought wading through battles and wars I’ve … Continue reading

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#456 – “ragged weeds”

“ragged weeds”   I am not good I fall short of both truth and light, but rather walk with heavy clouds beneath a dark rain instead   hiding in the shadows of quiet omission where muted spaces grow ragged weeds … Continue reading

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#430 – the river

the river   the river is cold and brutal today   rough as it carries my comfort away   the air abrasive and course like sandpaper   my fix, equilibrium gone like thin vapor   I feel lost like a … Continue reading

Posted in Anguish, Anxiety, Depression, Despair, Grieving, Life, Mortality, Pain, Poetry | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

#411 – 4 Haiku

4 Haiku   nature’s cruel hunger raining down into the day swallowing sunshine     insatiable rain consuming all bright colors and spitting out gray     standing in my room praying for change; then I do what I always … Continue reading

Posted in Belief, Change, Depression, God, Haiku, Hope, Nature, Rain | Tagged , , , , , , , | 8 Comments

#410 – 2 Haiku

2 Haiku   corners of regret dark echoes of a song I never learned to sing     scratching at prayers that sit beneath my anger can’t seem to reach God  

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#404 – 4 Haiku

3 Haiku   no imoji to convey the reality of my depression     her eyes soften, sink beneath the waves; memories her mother lives in     in comes the season bruised and tender from fighting years of steadfast … Continue reading

Posted in Christmas, Depression, Grieving, Haiku, Rain, Weather | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment