Category Archives: Despair

#459 – “secrets to save”

“secrets to save”   I want this pain to stop this panic to allay this sinking  to end this crushing guilt to go away I want to drink until I’m perfect until I’m healthy and brave drink until I’m honest … Continue reading

Posted in Addict Behavior, Addiction, alcoholism, Anguish, Courage, Cowardice, Depression, Despair, Dishonesty, Fear, Guilt, Honesty, Marriage, Pain, Poetry, Reality, Self Esteem, Self-Destructive, Self-Forgiveness, Self-Hatred, Sobriety | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

#450 – “wounded day”

“wounded day”   stuck again inside tremors of sadness and shock   a nightmare hall with no windows or doors to unlock   I walk on a gravel of unwanted change   on a new path that feels otherworldly and … Continue reading

Posted in alcoholism, Brother, Change, Death, Despair, Family, Grieving, Poetry | Tagged , , , , , , | 2 Comments

#449 – “smooth stone”

“smooth stone”   I sit as a sharp despair swallows the moment, your absence, like a Winter refusing the Spring, rips through the hour and into the night like water creasing the smooth stone of time’s reprieve till it’s grooved … Continue reading

Posted in Brother, Death, Despair, Family, Grieving, Memories, Poetry, Sibling, Time | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

#439 – “cracks”

“cracks”   the sky is drained and weary from the drag of so much weeping   the night, so full of cracks through which my rest and sleep are seeping   I lay staring at the silence that my open … Continue reading

Posted in Brother, Death, Despair, Grieving, Insomnia, Memories, Night, Poetry, Rain | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

#430 – the river

the river   the river is cold and brutal today   rough as it carries my comfort away   the air abrasive and course like sandpaper   my fix, equilibrium gone like thin vapor   I feel lost like a … Continue reading

Posted in Anguish, Anxiety, Depression, Despair, Grieving, Life, Mortality, Pain, Poetry | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

#429 – 5 haiku

5 haiku   strange hole in the day a piece of the world just gone since you flew away   I am ashamed that I was eager to leave the last time I saw you   I’m not ready to … Continue reading

Posted in Broken Heart, Brother, Change, Death, Despair, Dying, Family, Grieving, Guilt, Haiku, Memories, Mortality, Poetry, Sibling | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

#425 – two haiku

2 Haiku   no words foul enough to fit the horrid smallness of the president     on the backs of so many, the freedoms we’ve built broken into lies

Posted in America, Despair, Haiku, Ignorance, Poetry, Politics | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

#422 – 5 haiku

5 Haiku     on his own grave’s edge he waits in sad defiance daring life to end     a window open disinterested, he stares at the floor instead     so many gray hairs his beard looks like … Continue reading

Posted in Addiction, alcoholism, Brother, Denial, Despair, Fear, Haiku, Pain, Poetry, Self-Destructive, Sibling | Tagged , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

#417 – 2 Haiku

2 Haiku     beneath who we are a crushed idea, almost dead; America     smell of life burning bones and leaves and happiness gone beneath fear’s ash  

Posted in America, Anger, Despair, Fear, Haiku, Hatred, Humanity, Ignorance, Poetry, Violence | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

#415 2 Haiku

2 Haiku   rhapsody of tears such a long and heavy rain the names of the dead     when tomorrow comes love will sweep away the glass broken from hatred    

Posted in Death, Despair, Extremism, Grieving, Haiku, Hatred, Mortality, Terrorism | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments