Category Archives: Self-Destructive

#459 – “secrets to save”

“secrets to save”   I want this pain to stop this panic to allay this sinking  to end this crushing guilt to go away I want to drink until I’m perfect until I’m healthy and brave drink until I’m honest … Continue reading

Posted in Addict Behavior, Addiction, alcoholism, Anguish, Courage, Cowardice, Depression, Despair, Dishonesty, Fear, Guilt, Honesty, Marriage, Pain, Poetry, Reality, Self Esteem, Self-Destructive, Self-Forgiveness, Self-Hatred, Sobriety | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

#422 – 5 haiku

5 Haiku     on his own grave’s edge he waits in sad defiance daring life to end     a window open disinterested, he stares at the floor instead     so many gray hairs his beard looks like … Continue reading

Posted in Addiction, alcoholism, Brother, Denial, Despair, Fear, Haiku, Pain, Poetry, Self-Destructive, Sibling | Tagged , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

#381 – 3 Haiku

3 Haiku   standing in the rain umbrella doesn’t work; no shelter from my thoughts     hours like stone, grow so heavy through my night when sleep rolls away from me       so many churches all boarded … Continue reading

Posted in Addict Behavior, Depression, Feeling Lost, Haiku, Insomnia, Poetry, Prayer, Self Esteem, Self-Destructive, Self-Hatred, Self-Love, Self-Worth, Sleep | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

#203 of 365 – “melee”

“melee”    truth like thunder breaks into my bones   with a rain of crushing consequences heavy like stones   I am a liar through denial and blatant omission   my trustworthiness a ghost, an unstable apparition   I linger, … Continue reading

Posted in Addict Behavior, Addiction, Betrayal, Compulsive Spending, Cowardice, Depression, Despair, disappointment, Failure, Hitting Bottom, Lessons, love, Marriage, Poetry, Recovery, Regret, Self-Destructive, Spouse | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments